January 2012
79 posts
December 2011
67 posts
It was good while it lasted.
Good bye SoCal. Thank you, everyone for this wonderful adventure. Time to hit the road.
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As the day came towards the end, I took a deep breath while storing the most precious moments of my life in my mind. I glanced at the clock which read 11:12pm, and I couldn’t help but smile. At first I didn’t know why, but I then realized I didn’t have to make any wishes because I wouldn’t have needed to. What I wanted happened before my very own eyes. It isn’t just a...
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This anxiety and fear is eating away at me. I don’t know if I’m prepared to just show up to you out of the blue. I don’t know how to face you. I don’t know if I should hug you. I don’t know if I should smile at you. I don’t know what I should say to you. I don’t even know if I could be myself around you. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you....
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diehasen:
Though I’ve merely gotten a glimpse of such a radiant light, I’m desperately trying to hold onto it when I’ve already realized I have to let it go. Why must I be so stubborn?
Sure it’s disappointing when I think about it, but by meeting someone as radiant as you showed me that I can smile, once again, with every bit of genuine happiness.
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For the past few years, it seems as if I’ve lost something. I don’t know why it is, but I never know what to get anyone for special events such as Christmas or their birthdays. It’s not that I don’t know anything about them either. Perhaps, I’m losing my originality? Or perhaps, I’m just not really good at giving people materialistic things. Every time I try, I...
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Some chances in life are just like those numerous rolls of undeveloped film— sitting and aging in that drawer, forever forgotten or abandoned.
Lost in Reverie: Dear Jay, →
solarsanction:
First off, I wanted to present to you your most of imperfections— imperfections which are entirely subjective, of course. Therefore, most of the imperfections mentioned may be justified in the eyes of another, perhaps one with a practical sense of (high?) morality. With that said, I’d like to start with the fact that you are…
(11:03 AM) Jay: GOOD MORNING (11:03 AM) SXEET!: YEAH, IT’S TOTALLY MORNING OVER HERE… (11:03 AM) Jay: ITS MORNING WHEN I SAY ITS MORNING BIATCH (11:03 AM) SXEET!: …LOL. SHUT UP NIGGAHOE. (11:03 AM) Jay: …OH HELLA NAW (11:04 AM) SXEET!: OH HELLA YES. QURL! DON’T PLAY. (11:04 AM) Jay: HOLD MAH PURSE, ILL SMACK YO BLACK ASS (11:04 AM)...
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If fate really did exist, it must be playing a really cruel joke on me. I absolutely detest the word fate.
Lovely
Sonia: Well I still say you should be yourself [...] As far as how you behave though, I think your moral and ethical values mean more to you than sometimes what will make you happy[...]
Me: I hate it when you and my other friends do that.
Sonia: What? Lol
Me: It just seems like you know me more than what I want you to know about me. Haha
Sonia: I think it's inevitable after all this time. Haha
Me: I suppose that's true
Mother: Jay, getting hurt now isn’t everything. This is the hardest part, but you know what? This is just beginning. You’re going to keep getting hurt so many more times. You have to be strong and you should already know, I will always be here for you.
I guess you weren’t kidding. I love you, Mother.
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As I think of one person the moment I wake up, I begin to realize how numb I’ve become to such feelings. I wonder to myself, what’s the point anymore? I begin to realize that I honestly don’t care and that I’m actually trying too hard to keep feeling this way.
The truth is…I feel as if I don’t need to anymore. I no longer have to carry this dead weight on my...
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1112pm:
[…]But sometimes, we look up at the same time to share an intimate silence of acknowledgement, an unspoken I-know and a smile followed by a childlike, “What?” when really, it’s just a rhetorical question that screams my love hasn’t changed.
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This darkness and these nights which I feared and hated for so long…I’ve grown somewhat numb to them, or perhaps I’ve actually become quite fond of the night. In a way, it’s my own twisted sense of comfort.
Skrillex - Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites (Ferro...
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1112pm:
I like the rain for the sun that tries to redeem itself after.
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It feels like it’s been so long since I got this angry. So angry that I shout and throw my phone at the wall as I slowly wake from a terrible dream. So angry, that my neck, arms, fingers begin to tingle of that numbing sensation. To be so angry that my head is searing from pain from that annoying pulsating from within, along with my irregular breathing— scared I might just collapse...
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There’s too much I know about the world— my world, specifically. Show me something new. Show me something different. Show me something grand, magnificent, serene, and beautiful. Show me the world you live in. Show me your life. Take me there and we can begin to unpack—unpack the very essence that causes the void between our worlds.
Random thoughts of tonight
I bought a $60 umbrella, but it hasn’t rained at all.
I want to meet my online friends so bad.
I wonder if the 17-55mm lens I sold is really in Africa. I’m jelly.
I’m thinking, “WTF is Tobe (my pug) doing?!” as he makes countless circles around his bed.
L.O.L. Finals.
Blah
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1112pm:
I replay memories in my head all the time. Reels of neon colored film unwind and I can almost place myself before the moment, as if I’ve travelled beyond my body and back in time. Lately when we fight, I’ve been standing in the room of pastel green walls that we spent our summer in two years ago, with the sunlight seeping through the blinds and crawling upon our tangled legs in sheets....